Overcoming Social Anxiety: Practical CBT Strategies

Social anxiety is more than just feeling shy or nervous in social settings… it’s a persistent fear of being judged, embarrassed, or rejected. This fear can lead to avoidance of social situations, which often reinforces the anxiety. Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) offers proven strategies to break this cycle and build confidence in social settings.

If social anxiety is holding you back, understanding how it works and learning practical CBT techniques can help you take meaningful steps toward overcoming it.

What Causes Social Anxiety?

Social anxiety often stems from negative beliefs about yourself and how others perceive you. Common thoughts include:

• “What if I say something stupid?”
• “Everyone will notice how anxious I am.”
• “They’ll think I’m awkward or boring.”

These thoughts trigger physical symptoms like sweating, trembling, or a racing heart, which can make social interactions feel even more overwhelming. Over time, avoiding these situations reinforces the belief that they’re dangerous or unbearable.

CBT helps you break this pattern by challenging negative thoughts, facing your fears, and building new, positive experiences.

CBT Strategies for Overcoming Social Anxiety

Identify and Challenge Negative Thoughts: Social anxiety often involves distorted thinking, such as catastrophising (imagining the worst possible outcome) or mind-reading (assuming you know what others are thinking). CBT encourages you to challenge these thoughts by asking:

• What’s the evidence for and against this thought?
• Is there another way to look at this situation?
• What would I say to a friend who felt this way?

For example:

• Negative Thought: “Everyone will think I’m awkward.”
• Balanced Thought: “Most people are too focused on themselves to notice small mistakes. If someone does notice, they’re likely to be kind or understanding.”
• Gradual Exposure to Social Situations: Avoidance reinforces social anxiety. CBT uses gradual exposure to help you face social fears in manageable steps. Start with less intimidating situations and gradually work toward more challenging ones.
  For example:
  • Start a brief conversation with a cashier.
  • Attend a small gathering with people you know.
  • Speak up during a meeting or presentation.

Track your progress and reflect on the outcome to build confidence over time.

Behavioural Experiments: CBT encourages you to test your fears by conducting behavioural experiments. For example:

• Fear: “If I speak up in a group, people will think I’m stupid.”
• Experiment: Share one idea during a team meeting.
• Outcome: Notice that people were engaged or neutral, and no one criticised you.

These experiments help you gather evidence that challenges your fears and builds positive experiences.

Practice Assertiveness: Social anxiety can make it difficult to express your needs or opinions. CBT teaches assertiveness skills to help you communicate more confidently and respectfully. Start with small steps, like stating your preference during group decisions or saying “no” to something you’re uncomfortable with.

Relaxation Techniques: Anxiety can trigger physical symptoms like a racing heart or shallow breathing. Relaxation strategies, such as deep breathing or progressive muscle relaxation, can help calm your body in the moment. Pairing these techniques with exposure or challenging thoughts can make social situations feel more manageable.

If social anxiety is affecting your life, professional therapy can provide personalised guidance and support. Get in touch today to explore how CBT can help you.